The Memoirs of an Angel
by AngelxSchunard
Summary: These are the characters of Jonathan Larson who wrote RENT. I do not own them, nor do I claim them as my own. I do however take credit in how I wrote the stories with his characters. This is titled I’ll Cover You: The Memoirs of Angel Dumott Schunard.
1. Measure the life of a woman or a man

I'll Cover You: The memoirs of Angel Dumott Schunard; Your loveable Drag Queen

The Diary of Angel Dumott Schunard and how she spent her last few days on earth.

October 24th... Angel began writing in her journal. She was told this was some way to help her cope with what all was going on in her life. The streets of New York were busy as always. She missed her drumming and the street corner where she met the love of her life. Thomas B. Collins. Angel shook her head as she continued to write.

_Dear diary... _Angel began to think as words started to pour from her heart. "Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care? Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?" Angel sung out loud as she shook her head. Angel looked down at her writings that were now on paper. She knew people would miss her, but many things were flowing through her mind. The drag queen was now out of drag for her days were slowing down and she was scared.

_"I wish there was a cure to AIDS. You see, not for me but for my friends. I have always been there for them. I was the binding of the book, and they were just the loose pages held together by me. There was this one time. Where Maureen and Joanne were fighting."_ She smiled to herself while remembering how she stopped them from the horrible fight once again. They were on again off again life partners just like how Mimi and Roger were on again off again lovers.

It was interesting how Angel and Collins' relationship never suffered. Why you may as? Because they were found by fate from the moment Angel met him it was pure love. Nothing could separate them except for the effects of the future. Angel was going to die. Angel coughed hard as she took a tissue and wiped her mouth... "Blood..." She said and closed her eyes carefully before realizing she needed to get home soon.

Angel continued to write where she was because she felt the need to finish this entry. Slowly her memory was escaping her and she wanted someone to at least see what she was thinking during this last week of life, breath, and air. Angel was one of the most upbeat persons you would ever know, but when she was sick the drag queen tried to put up a front most of the time it worked, but not always because someone would eventually point out how she had changed.

The days were colder and Angel was thinner. Angel walked back to her loft from Life Support. Collins was off at work, and everyone else seemed to be on their merry ways not really wanting to face the days ahead of them. Right now it seemed as if Collins was the only one who cared for her. He was always beside her and helping her mainly getting from one place to the next.

_"If only there was a miracle, you know a cure? For life, for living, and for love... I love my friends, but why is it that only one of them is standing beside me now? Mimi Marquez... I have to hold on for her. She needs me."_ Angel realized all of this was going on in her mind and she must have looked crazy because she was talking to herself.

The drag queen stopped by the Life Cafe and picked up something to eat. Not like she was going to consume it all though Collins would make her. "He's my king..." She smiled lightly to herself as she paid for her doggie platter to go. Angel continued to walk home slowly feeling even weaker then before. "It's cold out here..." She said with her teeth chattering.

Angel finally made it back to her loft after all that happened today. When she walked in the door there he was Thomas B. Collins. "Hey honey." He said noticing how weak she had gotten. "Collins, I.." Angel started to cry. He quickly went over to her side and took the food from her hands, picked her up and took her back to the bedroom to rest. "There, there.. It will be ok, just get some sleep for me?" Angel nodded and drifted off into the next morning.

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The genre varies from entry to entry so that is why it's set at general, and it goes from character to character. Yes, I know it's sad and depressing right now but it will pick up. Please let me know what you think so far, what I can fix within grammar wise. The diary entries will pick up. I had originally started writting this as a fanfic challenge but then wanted to post it on here. All comments are welcomed.


	2. In truths that she learned

Like the doctors said, they told Angel and Collins the bad bearing news, that she would become weaker by the days, that her immune system wasn't going to be able to fight off anymore of the disease, that Angel was pretty much going to either be wheel chair bound, or need to be helped around. Of course Collins knew this and wasn't prepared well enough as it broke his heart seeing his one true love in this condition, he often at times wished it was him rather then her.

The next day Angel woke up to the sunrays shining through her curtains. She shivered lightly while pulling the blankets over her head only wanting to go back to sleep, knowing the pain wasn't at ease, and it only caused more discomfort to her situation. Angel finally managed to muster some strength in her body as she slowly sat up in bed. "Collins?" she questioned for her lover as he came back into the bedroom.

"Hello sweetie, how are you feeling?" Collins asked Angel as he rubbed her cheek lightly and kissed her on the forehead.

"Better, I think." she said as she curled up into his body for warmth.

"Honey, what I want you to do is pack a bag, we're going on a vacation for awhile, it's somewhere you've been wanting to go to since we met." Collins had this planned for awhile, and since he knew her days were numbered he knew this was it, this was the moment they were going to spend their last days together in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

She smiled looking at him. "Where are we going?" Angel questioned as she slowly got out of the bed, she was now too weak to stand on her own feet, sure, some days she was stronger then other's and she knew that, she just tried her hardest to hide it all.

"It's a surprise our train leaves in an hour.." he said grabbing her medications, and packing his own bag.

"Train?"

"Yes.."

"Collins are we…" she could only smile.

"Are we what?" he asked her knowing she finally figured it out.

"Nothing baby, you said it was a surprise, so surprise me."

Collins smiled and helped her pack. "Don't forget a jacket or two, maybe even your fleece blanket that keeps you warm at nights."

Angel smiled and nodded. "Ok, well when you said pack, I'm done!" she giggled lightly followed by a snort..

Collins and Angel left their loft to go to the Grand Central Station in New York City to begin their travels to Santa Fe, New Mexico the one place where they had wanted to go to ever since the dreams on Christmas Eve last year. There was a note to Mark to get the mail while they were away which Mark had already known the plans he just didn't want to ruin all that Collins had worked for Angel.

_Dear diary.. This morning the sun woke me up, Collins followed, and told me that he had a surprise for me. That's where I am now, I'm currently on a train, out of New York City, and I do believe we're going to Santa Fe, New Mexico. I can't wait, I'm going to go now, I will write more as the day goes on, but I see my little butterfly looking out the window, so I think I'm going to curl up with him. Hugs and kisses always, Angel._

She finished her entry, went back into her trolley where Collins was, sat down and curled up next to him..

"Thanks Collins."

"No problem Angel, I figured since we've both wanted to go we would spend time together, you know what the doctors have said." He said lightly seeing her nod.

"I love you." Angel said, moved his arm over and curled up tightly into him bringing the blankets with her.


	3. Or in times that he cried

The train continued to plunge down the tracks and soon arrived in Santa Fe, New Mexico, the time was 2pm and the whole way there Collins and Angel slept, or at least tired to. It was noisy, and the seats really were uncomfortable though there were padded benches Angel refused to sleep away from Collins. He was her protection, he was her mote and she was his castle.

A conductor came over the loud speaker of the train, which all seemed to be gibberish, though it was audible 'Please wait until the train stops, please wait until the train stops.." the co-conductor went around checking tickets.

"Collins! We're here!" Angel smiled getting her things together, nothing could upset her now, they were in a city which both of them had wanted to visit.

"Yes, we are, I can't wait."

Angel began to gather her things as she waited for the train to stop. She grabbed her knapsack and took out her diary plus the rainbow fuzzy pen to make a quick entry, she wanted to capture all of her moments in Santa Fe to take them home with her not to mention she had a camera, but she wanted something else to remember her trip by also.

_Dear Diary, the time is now 2:15, we arrived in Santa Fe, New Mexico at 2pm we're just waiting until the conductors allow us to get off the train. I can't wait to spend these last few days with Collins, I hope he will understand how much I love him when I am gone and how I will always love him._

She put it up quickly before Collins could see what she was writing. He knew that she had been writing for weeks, and it was therapy, but often at times he wondered if her writings were ok for her to do because he noticed how sad she was all the time.

"Ready! Set! Go!" Angel looked at him as the conductors had come around saying they could go now. Collins couldn't help but smile. He helped her stand up taking their things, he had one of the train attendants help them off as he took the wheel chair.

"We need to get a cab, so we can go to the hotel and drop our things off and then we should go to a restaurant and get something to eat, I could use some food." he said as Angel nodded in agreement she too was hungry, as for they had just traveled for hours without anything to eat.

"Sounds like a plan."

"I love you."

"I love you too baby."

Once they had gotten off the train, Collins navigated the wheel chair, and somehow managed to get their things with him too, he was a man of many talents, and over the years of dealing with all of the mess he had to from juggling with Angel and his own work situations he learned how to multi-task. Collins called for a cab, which soon took them to their hotel. They went up to their room to relax a little as Angel got out of the wheel chair and put her things away. She sat down on the bed and pulled out her diary again just reading her entries before deciding to write some more.

_Dear diary, we're now in our hotel room, and we're about to go out for adventures under the sun. To see some tumble weeds, and prairie dogs.. yea… Well that is if they're around. Either way I will write some more when I get back. I can't wait until we make contact some more._

Angel closed her diary and looked over at Collins. "So where are we going to go now?" she asked him as Collins finished putting his things away and looked at the brochure.

"Anything you want to do." he said while handing over the brochure. Angel picked out a few things, such as places for sight seeing.

"I'm ready." she said as she grabbed her jacket, her purse, and her medications knowing she would need them later. Collins nodded, he didn't know if she wanted to take the wheel chair now, or if she didn't. He didn't want to ask her only because he knew how much Angel hated it.

"Me too."

Angel was taken back by all the places they went to. She ate at a restaurant called Don Jose and had a great time. For the first time in her life she had seen a cactus, and she thought it was funny looking. Spending the time with Collins is something she loved, she knew he must have put a great deal into this, and she was ever so thankful. After the days events of seeing the scenery, Institute of American Indian Art Museum, Touching Stone, and of course the Santa Fe Children's Museum to feel like they were in their inner childhood still, to seeing the sunset they turned it in for the night.

There she went once more pulling her diary out for the evening.

_Dear diary. Today was wonderful! I went to some places that I had seen in magazines, only wishing I could be the lucky one and go there, and today I did. I have a feeling my time is coming to an end, as the entries in my book will become shorter and shorter. I am much tired now, and I'm trying to save my strength for Collins._

The loveable drag queen tucked it under her pillow and curled up under the blankets waiting for Collins to join her. Once he was in the bed Angel reached over and turned off the light.

"I love you Angel."

"I love you forever and always Collins."


	4. In bridges she burned

_**A note from the author:**_

_**This is the second to last part of the fic. While writing this, I wrote about my feelings with life because I am sick with something and I don't know what it is. I have an MRI this week and it's making me really scared only because I don't like tight spaces. As I wrote about Angel I tried to remember how my father felt before he passed away 11 years ago to cancer. So it's a small little diary of Angel. She is one of my favorite characters as well as her personality is mine.**_

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In bridges she burned.

It had been a few days since Angel had written in her diary. As she expected, she became weaker by the moment.. "Collins." Angel said slowly as she looked at him lying next to her.

"Yes Ang?" he said as he rolled over and smiled lightly seeing it was time to go home, the way she was breathing, he knew it was too soon.

"I'm ready to go home."

"I know… I know…."

Collins helped Angel pack her belongings from the hotel that they had been staying in for three weeks, it was a lovely vacation something they both needed, their last moments together as Angel was slowly slipping from reality, from what she loved the most, and most important from Collins. She didn't know how he was going to go on when she passed away, it scared her too much that they couldn't die together.

"I will call for a cab to take us to the train station."

"Can we fly?"

"Honey, I honestly think that riding the train will give you time to sleep, and rest, we can call Mark to come pick us up for when we arrive home ok?" he said kissing her forehead as he could feel out weak she was, by the looks of his beloved Angel, she wasn't going to make it within the next week or two he just hated the fact of putting a time frame on Angel's life.

"Ok sounds like a plan then."

"You just wait right here honey, and I will get everything together."

Angel nodded and did as she was told. She pulled her diary out from behind the pillow and began to read over her memories, the pointless documentations she had made about how cute Collins' ass was, or by how sweet he had always been to Angel. Her writings of how Mimi wouldn't stop the drugs, when they had to take her to rehab more then once. It was as if she had written her whole life story down on paper at one time or another.

She took out her rainbow fuzzy pen and slowly began to scribble something down on paper, which actually was a cartoon strip she had been working on about her and her family. Angel was the artist, and everyone knew it so of course it had to be perfect. After finishing the cartoon strip which was clearly about how her family was made up of, and that everyone came from a different background in life she began to write.

_Dear diary, the date is October 29, __1989 my time is coming to an end as I don't think I will make it this next year. Thank you for always allowing me to pour out my emotions, to allow me to tell you my deep dark secrets of my lover Collins. Protect him always, I've had fun writing in you and I know that after all the years I've never had given you a name. The name I am now giving you is Boho Days." _she put her diary away as Collins came back into the room.

"Come on honey, it's time to go home." he said slowly taking Angel and his things down to the cab Collins came back up and carried her out of the room, and into the cab to head back to New York City.


	5. Or the way that she died

_**A note from the author:**_

_**Never pictured bringing myself to tears, but I have that way within my writings, there is one last part of the fic, an ending which will close the final chapter of Memoirs of an Angel.**_

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The train had finally made its way back into New York City, Mark waited there by the tracks to greet his family. Seeing Collins come quickly off the train Mark could only know what was happening. They made eye contact as he quickly ran up to where Collins was.

"Welcome home."

"Thanks."

"Where is she?"

"Still in the trolley, look, can you… Take us to the hospital? I don't think she's going to make it." Collins had the bewildered look on his face, he was in true agony on the inside it was tearing him apart, that this was the last moments on earth for Angel.

Mark nodded lightly and hugged Collins. "I will, and I will always be there for you, I'm your brother from a different mother." he said with a light smile. "Who is your pumpkin albino head? That's me, I will do anything for you." he quickly grabbed the luggage and everything else that was Angels and Collins as Collins went back to get Angel.

He picked her up carefully and smiled then kissed her forehead…"I love you Angelcakes." Collins said as he carried her outside into the cab Mark had waiting.

They hauled ass over to the hospital as Mark told the cabbie the address of where to take their luggage as he helped Collins carry Angel into the hospital. Knowing it was going to be hard, knowing what laid ahead in the future hurt Mark because he was scared. He was scared as to what was to happen to the family.

Nurses and doctors directed Collins and Mark into a room for Angel as she was hooked up to machines. Slipping in and out of consciousness she coughed hard and curled into a ball. Sweat dripped down her face, her hands became clammy as Collins rocked her slowly wiping the sweat away as she tried to speak.

"Colly…" Angel gasped lightly he tried to sooth her..

"Shh honey save your voice for the morning." He said not knowing if there was going to be a morning.

"I need my diary." she told him as Mark looked to Angel.

"I will go home and get it, what color is it?" he asked her like he promised Collins he would do anything.

"It is chocolate color with pink and turquoise ribbons I also need my fuzzy rainbow pen." she said going into exact details of what it looked like.

Mark nodded and hugged Angel. "I love you baby girl." He said to her knowing that it was ok for him to call her that. Within moments of leaving Mark ran as fast as his feet could carry him seeing that he had just showed up when the cab did, he saw Roger on the balcony of the loft and motioned for him to come out.

"I need your help!" Mark screamed, seeing Roger's nod he started to unload the car.

Roger went downstairs taking things upstairs. "We need to find Angel's diary she wants it, she needs to write in it or something so the colors are chocolate with pink and turquoise ribbons." Roger nodded and helped Mark find the diary as they finished unpacking he went upstairs to get Mimi the three of them went back to the hospital

Mark walked inside as Roger stood outside yelling at Mimi for her drug addiction… "NOT NOW!" Mimi said as she went inside to see Angel.

"Angel!" she shook her head not believing that this was her last moments on earth.

"Meems?" she gasped for air as Mimi nodded with tears in her eyes.

"I'm here…" Mimi went over to hug Angel as Mark took it to his own idea in calling Maureen and Joanne to tell them to get down to the hospital though they were no longer together with the agreement both arrived at the hospital.

As the family started to say their goodbyes to Angel knowing it was going to be the last time they were going to see her Collins stayed behind, along with Mimi. Those two really knew her for who she was.

She was a doll, someone who always put others before herself. Angel wasn't like anyone you would meet. It was just something of her. Her personality and all that you could imagine. Angel was someone you could call a sister, a lover, a friend.

Angel took out her diary and wrote an entry which would end up being her last.

_Dear Diary, this is the closing of a chapter, the closing of my life, and the closing of the future. I had thought things would have gotten better once I had gotten into the hospital, on IV's but it hasn't. _

_To my Collycakes, I love you very much and thank you for all you have done for me. Though people think that I showed them what love is, you really showed me. You taught me how to love once more, you taught me the true meaning of life and without you I had been nothing._

_To my Feline, my precious baby girl. Remember what life holds you in the future, Roger is the guy for you, and no one else, always stay faithful, truthful to him and you will find pure happiness. Life will bless you well as you discover what you've needed. He's a great guy for you and I love you baby… I leave you my blue nail polish as I know you always loved it. I also leave you my zebra print pants and any of my clothes you want._

There were some more small messages to the rest of her family members and surprisingly even Benny that Muffy may find a heart and allow her friends to live in Tent City Alphabet City and all other parts of New York City. She also had a small amount of money in which she wanted to be used wisely amongst her friends.

The days grew shorter as Halloween was approaching. It was her favorite holiday. Angel woke up slowly not feeling herself as she breathed deeply. "Collycakes…" Angel cried out for her lover extending a hand for him to take. "Collins.." she said once more breathing heavily as he rushed to her side, he was just inside the doorframe as he had gone to get ice chips, and a sprite for himself. Seeing her there, breathing heavily he dropped the sprite, which ended up busting open and took the ice chips with him quickly as he set them down.

"I'm here honey, I'm here." He crawled in bed with her and wrapped his arms around her small frame. "Shhh, calm down baby I'm here." Collins rocked Angel slowly shaking his head afraid to lose her. He couldn't especially not at this time. He controlled his tears..

"Live in my house, I'll be your shelter, just pay me back… With 1000 kisses…. Be my lover, and I'll cover you.." his voices echoed through out the room as Angel's breathing slowed down. Collins felt the hot tears fall from his cheeks.

"Coll….." Angel breathed deeply before shifting her weight, she shook her head and looked up at him.. "Ba…" she took another breath feeling her last moments of life.. "I want to look out the window one.. la-last time." she said slowly.

Collins could only nod. He grabbed the window shade string and pulled up the blinds as he held her tightly.. "The stars are pretty tonight, and it's a full moon.." she said breathing more slowly by the moment… "Do you know how much I love you?" Angel asked as she started sweating even more.

He took a wash cloth and wiped her face… "Don't say that Angelcakes. I.. Don't say that.."

"Remember, always and forever I love you always and forever…" she said closing her eyes before her heart rate dropped. Angel passed away in his arms as he held her rocking her.

Choking on his own tears, he looked up into the deep dark sky of Halloween. A full moon, beautiful stars, and his beloved Angel now gone he shook his head. "Al--- Always and forever Angel, always and forever." he said as he held her and closed his eyes holding her tightly, not ready to give up. He wanted her alive and well, he wanted to run in the park with her, yet now, his love was gone, and he was dying on the inside.


End file.
